


Out of Time

by whattomwants



Series: Borrowed Time [2]
Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Character Death, Crying, Death, Death Wish, Drama, F/M, Friendship/Love, Pregnancy, Relationship(s), Requited Love, Sad, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-02
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-28 06:03:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/988576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whattomwants/pseuds/whattomwants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom Hiddleston has been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. He is on borrowed time and his desire to be a father leads him to ask one of his friends for one final dying wish.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Old Friend Time

**Author's Note:**

> This is my story Borrowed Time told from Tom's point of view.

Time was no longer on my side. It wasn’t the old friend I had become accustomed to someone who worked around my hectic life. I felt betrayed by it as if it had stabbed me in the back. What had I done to it to deserve such treatment? Had I angered it by claiming there was never enough of it? Did it feel I was taking advantage of it? Why had time, my precious friend, decided to abandon me?

Today had been one of the longest days of my life though it only took minutes for the doctor to tell me that my life was going to be changed forever. The headaches were the warning sign, the sign that I ignored so blatantly. My friends kept urging me to see a doctor, but I didn’t listen. It wasn’t until the day I was literally at a loss for words that I realized something was terribly wrong. As an actor words are part of my job. Without them I am rather useless. Words are what I use to get my point across, to express love, anger, and pain. My facial expressions could only get me so far, but the words are what really mattered.

As I walked into the doctor’s office, I thought nothing of my symptoms. Perhaps I had contracted some weird illness or maybe I had a genetic disorder that could easily be worked through. When he ordered an MRI, I was a bit startled. Why does an otherwise healthy young man need an MRI? I didn’t argue for he must have good reason for it. I did as I was instructed and before I knew it I was back in his office. I sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk the sounds of the whirring from the machine still racing through my mind. It was so loud, louder than I ever expected. I heard the door open and I turned my head smiling at the doctor who did not return the gesture.

“Usually when someone smiles at you…”

“Tom.” The way he said my name and the expression on his face were unnerving. Never had I seen so much worry in one’s eyes.

“It can’t be that bad.” I said watching as he walked around to his desk and took a seat. “I’m starting filming for Thor 2 soon so whatever it is just tell me what we can do to fix it. I need to be as healthy as possible.”

“Why did you wait so long to see me?”

I shrugged my boney shoulders. “I didn’t think a headache was that big of a deal.”

“I’m going to be very blunt with you.” He removed his horned rimmed glasses tossing them onto his desk. He rested his elbows on its hard wooden surface and leaned across it his eyes staring at me. “Tom we found a mass on the MRI. I need you to have a biopsy so we can give you a proper diagnosis.”

And that was when time gave me a swift hard punch to the gut. I knew deep down that nothing good was to come of this no matter how positive I tried to be. I just felt it in my bones that this was the end of the road for me and yet I had so much to do. I had the biopsy and when the results came back, it was as I had suspected. I had inoperable brain cancer. My mind, the very thing I treasured most was being eaten alive. Prognosis without treatment was 3 months with it I would give myself at least a year maybe 2 if I was lucky. I immediately started chemotherapy and radiation even though it would only buy me time.  I never felt so rushed before in my life I was literally on a deadline to achieve all the things I wanted to before my life was ripped away from me. I wanted to travel, wanted to win an Oscar (Well that’s kind of a longshot, but one can still dream), but most of all I wanted to have a child.

I always dreamed of having a family of my own to one day be someone’s father. You would think the task would be simple enough. I would sleep with as many women as possible until one of them became pregnant and then I could move on to the other items on my bucket list. As easy as it sounded in my mind my plan was flawed from the beginning for there was only one person I would ever want to carry my children and she was completely out of reach in my eyes. I hadn’t spoken to her in years something I always regretted. I wouldn’t say she was the love of my life, but she is someone I deeply admired someone I did love at one point. Hell I probably still love her, but for now I am in denial. Her name is Nora and she is one of the most stubborn women I have ever met. I first made her acquaintance at University and to be quite honest I thought she was an absolute dip stick. Hours later when we were in bed together it's safe to say I was eating my own words. She had her good points though most of our relationship was spent quarreling for we never saw eye to eye on anything and yet I was drawn to her as if she had some sort of power over me. I can’t say I was surprised when she fell pregnant, but that was not to come to fruition. We were both devastated though she likes to think she was more than I. Maybe I wanted to sort of mend things in that arena for I still feel guilt over it to this day. Perhaps if we had done something differently anything then she wouldn’t have miscarried. That was the past and I was more than sure that we were now two very different people.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell going through my contact list, which had grown rather large within the past year alone. I had publicists, directors, fellow actors, musicians, people I never expected to even give me the time of day. I scrolled through the N’s at first glance not seeing her name. Had I deleted her?  I flicked my finger watching the names on the screen roll by. Finally after searching the N’s for the third time I found her. My heart began to race as my thumb hovered over her name. I drew in a deep breath and pressed on it the call screen coming into view. There was no turning back now. The loud dial tone pierced my ears aggravating the headache that had suddenly begun to creep over me. She wouldn’t pick up. I couldn’t blame her for I had changed my phone number after an incident with a boyfriend of hers. Just as I pulled, the phone away from ear to hang up I heard her voice and I felt my breath leave me.

“Hello?”

“Nora?”

“This is she. Who is this?”

“Um…you probably don’t remember me.”

“No I don’t. Who is this?”

“It’s…” I stammered. “…Tom.”

“Tom who? I know quite a few people with that name.”

“Hiddleston.” Suddenly there was nothing but silence. “Hello? I know this must come as quite a shock.”

“That’s not exactly the word I would use for it. How did you get my number?”

“I never deleted it.”

“Yet you changed yours.”

“I don’t want to argue about this. There’s something very important I need to speak with you about.”

“Really? You think you can just waltzed back into my life after all this time?”

“Nora I’m not trying to do that alright? I just need a friend right now and I know this sounds strange, but I trust you more than anyone. Can you meet me this afternoon?”

I must have sounded like an absolute nutter to her. This man she hasn’t heard from in forever calling her out of the blue requesting a meeting with her. I expected her to say no. I would have said no to myself, but she did the complete opposite.

“Where do you want to meet?”

“Huh?”

“Do you want to meet with me or not Thomas?”

I shivered at the sound of my name. “I do. Remember that small café in Hampstead?”

“The one you took me to after we had that nasty argument because you felt bad for calling me a philandering tart?”

“That’s the one! Meet me there in 2 hours.”

“Don’t make me regret this.”

The walk to the café wasn’t far from my home. I chose this particular place not just, because it had meaning to it, but because my gait had become quite wobbly. Most people just took it as me being clumsy which came with the 6’2 frame and rather long extremities. I rounded the corner and stopped in my tracks. There she was sitting at one of the tables sipping on a cup of coffee her hair longer than I remembered it. She glanced at her watch and I knew then I must be running late. Typical Tom always behind schedule. I talked myself up a bit getting the courage to go through with my plan not knowing what the outcome would be. I took a step feeling my foot wobble a bit and then another. I reached out my arm grabbing onto her shoulder and giving it a tight squeeze. I felt her jump beneath my hand startled by my sudden touch. I smiled as her gaze lifted to meet my own.

“Wow Nora you look…”

“Coffee?”

“No thank you.” I replied taking a seat across from her noting the shift in her eye contact. “You’re cross with me.”

“I can’t be cross with someone I don’t know.”

I sighed. “Is it really going to be like that?”

“I don’t know Tom you tell me.”

My but she was being rather snarky. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t fix everything you know.”

“I know it doesn’t, but I don’t know what else to say.” I tapped my fingers against the empty coffee cup in front of me feeling a bit awkward. “How have you been?”

“Good. Really good.”

“Are you seeing anyone?”

“If I was why would it matter?” I watched as her eyes flitted about. “You’re really thin.”

Shit she noticed. What do I say now? “It’s um…for a movie role.” _Nailed it._

“You’re starting work on Thor 2 soon aren’t you?”

I nodded. “I am. “You should try out to be an extra. One of those girls in scantily clad outfits.”

“You’d like that.”

“I would.”

“Pervert.”

“Always.”

It was just like old times the playful bantering back and forth. It made whatever anxiety I had been feeling wash away and the conversation flowed easily. I listened to her talk about her career as a primary school teacher. She seemed to really love what she was doing and that made me smile. All I ever wanted was for her to find happiness and it seemed she had. She informed me on the death of her cat Twiggy whom I wasn’t a big fan of but was sad to hear of his passing. We spoke of art, politics, our views on life, it was as if we never missed a beat. As she began talking about our time at Uni I began to feel rather tired and my head began to ache. I opened my mouth to reply to her complaint that I had been quite the party animal, but the words weren’t there. I tried to force them out, but it was as if I was choking to death on them. It was embarrassing and I gave up soon afterwards.

“You can tell me.”

“I know that it’s just hard sometimes. My brain…doesn’t work the way it used to.” Now came the hard part the part I wasn’t sure how to handle. How do you tell someone you’re dying? “I lied about losing weight for the movie.” I sniffled lowering my head to hide the tears that were forming in my eyes.

“I know.”

“Yet you didn’t say anything.”

“Well you don’t seem like the type to have an eating disorder so I thought I’d let you tell me yourself before I jumped to any conclusions.”

“I can’t gain weight.” I wiped my eyes looking back up at her watching her mouth drop open. “It’s this treatment I’m getting.”

“So you are sick. What is it like a 24 hour flu bug or something?”

“I have cancer Nora. The headaches were the warning sign and I ignored them as long as I could. Then the aphasia started and I have trouble speaking now. I can’t walk straight I’m too dizzy all the time, I’m nauseous…”

“Can’t they just go in and fix it?”

“It’s inoperable.”

“Then why go through treatment?”

“Because it will give me at least a year to sort my life out. I’m on borrowed time now and I’m going to make the best of it.”

I watched as her face shifted to one of pure unimaginable sadness. I could see the pain in her eyes the fear. She was petrified of losing me and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel good. Knowing that after all this time she still cared meant the world to me. The tears started flowing freely from her eyes and I watched helplessly as she tried not to cause a commotion for both our sakes.

“You can’t just die.” She mumbled her lower lip quivering uncontrollably.

“Do you think I want to?”

“What did your parents say?”

My parents were another story one I wasn’t ready to deal with. “I haven’t told them yet. In fact I haven’t told anyone, but you.” I watched the confusion cross her face and knew I had to let her in on my desire to have a child. “I have a wish I would like to have granted before I die. It may seem a little out there and you have every right to say no. This is why I called you I couldn’t imagine propositioning anyone else with this, but you. I want to know if you would have my child.”

The moment those words left my mouth she expelled her lunch onto the pavement and immediately I felt the need to help her. I pushed my chair back only to be told to sit back down.

“Don’t get up I’m fine.”

“I know it’s…” And there I was again wanting so badly to speak, but unable to utter another word.

“Why me? I mean you have dated plenty of women, slept around probably more times than I can count on my two hands, I just don’t understand why you would ask me. We haven’t even seen each other in 2 years.”

“Because you’re the only girl I ever really loved.” It was the truth regardless of if she wanted to believe it or not. At this point my headache had gotten so bad I simply didn’t care.

“Is it that or because of what happened at University?”

She would have to bring that up. “What happened at Uni is in the past we can’t change it.”

“Then why do you keep trying to? I had a miscarriage it wasn’t your fault it wasn’t my fault it just happened. You expect me to carry your child for you again and what if it doesn’t work out? What if there’s something wrong with me and I’m unable to have children? I don’t understand why you would put me through that pain again.”

I hadn’t looked at it that way and she made a very valid point. Remembering when we found out our baby had no heartbeat made my chest tighten. It had been years since I even took the time to recollect the events of that day and as they came flooding back to me I felt my heart ache beneath my rib cage. The pain had been buried deep within me and it was now coming back to the surface. I never wanted to feel that again didn’t want her to feel that sort of despair, but knowing that my life was about to end it was a risk I was willing to take. Call me selfish if you must.

“I’m not trying to hurt you and I’m not trying to make you relive it. I came to you because I trust you. You are my best friend.”

“Who you didn’t call for two years.”

“I did call you. At least I tried to. The one time I did that stupid bastard you were dating answered the phone and told me not to call you again.”

She tilted her head slightly confused by my accusation. “I haven’t had a boyfriend in almost 4 years.”

“Then who the hell was Dan?”

“You remember Dan. A little taller than me, brown hair, freckles, liked to follow me around school.”

“Not the guy who would carry your books for you. Why on earth would you ever want to date him?”

“I wasn’t dating him. I can’t believe he did that. I promise you I had no idea he had even answered my phone.  I would have never missed an opportunity to talk to you.”

 “Well after that I changed my number and just left you alone. I didn’t think you wanted to see me.”

Without saying another word she turned and grabbed her purse from under her chair swinging it over her shoulder.

“I should be going.” She stood up and straightened her skirt turning on her heels.

“Wait.” I got up slowly so as not to fall over in front of everyone. “Will you at least think about what I said?”

“Tom…” We glanced at each other and I felt a warmth fill my chest as if a fire had been lit inside me. “I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I ask.” She turned back around, but I always had to have the last word. “Nora?” She swung her head around to gaze at me once more. “Call me sometime?”

“I will.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”


	2. Misery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom gets an unexpected visit from Benedict Cumberbatch as he waits to hear from Nora about her decision.

I used to be a morning person. I'd be up at dawn eager to get a good run in before I started my day. There was nothing like the feeling of the pavement beneath my feet, the beating of my heart, the sound of Mumford and Sons blasting through my ear buds. It was one of the only times I truly felt at peace. On occasion when the sun would decide to make an appearance I would watch it creep over the hill casting it’s brilliant orange glow across the buildings. I felt almost as if I was in Forrest Gump running across the country taking in some of its most breathtaking sights. Now I loathed mornings all together and rightfully so. I could no longer run, my body wouldn’t allow it. Try as I might eventually the headaches would catch up with me or I’d start to feel my balance slip. The thing I loved most was now a hazard to my own health. All it would take was one fall and I’d be worse off than I already am. 

Now my mornings were spent counting how many hair follicles I had lost during my sleep. Every day when I’d lift my head off my pillow they were there waiting for me. I felt like a dog shedding its fur except mine wasn’t going to grow back. I’d then rub my tired eyes trying my best to wake myself up hoping that this had all been a terrible nightmare. However, as I stared at the eyelashes strewn across my fingers I was reminded that this was my new reality. I thought about shaving my head and it seemed like the most practical thing to do, but to me it would be like saying goodbye to my old self and I wasn’t ready to do that. I wasn’t ready to part with the man who was once healthy and vibrant, the man who never shut up because he had so much to say, the man who once played a villainous Norse God with emotional complexity and a brooding vampire who was severely disappointed in what the world had become. I wanted my old life back.

A knock came at the door and I let out an exasperated sigh. I was in no mood for visitors for I was far too tired to even get out of bed. The side effects from my treatment were wreaking havoc on my body.  I was nauseous, I had trouble sleeping, and when I did I had horrific nightmares, I ached, and my appetite had all but dissipated. Whoever was at my front door better have a damn good reason for being there. I sat up which was a struggle in itself. I threw the covers off and swung my legs around my feet hitting the floor. The knocking increased which only added to my annoyance. I got up and immediately fell into the wall slowly making my way to the top of the stairwell. I glared down at the steps and immediately cursed myself for having a two story home. I held tightly to the railing as I made my descent trying my best to keep from falling. Getting to the bottom uninjured had become quite a challenge and as my feet slid from the final step I threw my arms up in victory!

“A+ stair dismount!” I whispered to myself another knock echoing through my house. “Alright hold on you stupid tosser! I mean who comes to someone’s house at this time in the morning?”

“Morning? It’s after twelve!” A deep muffled voice exclaimed from outside.

I threw open the door and stared at the man on the other end. Not only had my cancer caused me some physical ailments it also caused me on occasion to turn into one of the grumpiest men in Britain.

“What do you want?” I asked sternly.

Benedict’s eyes widened surprised by my attitude. “Wow. You live right around the corner I thought I’d just pop in and say hello.”

“Hello.” I went to close the door only to have it stopped by his hand.

“You’re in quite a mood today aren’t you? Can I come in?”

“Ugh what for?”

“I don’t know because we’re friends and I would like to come in and have a cup of tea with you.”

“If you have to.” I turned around and walked towards the kitchen not having the energy to continue arguing with him.

I grabbed the teakettle from the cabinet and started up the faucet filling it with water while Benedict looked me over.

“Are you thinning?” I felt his hand reach up to touch my hair and I immediately swatted it away. “What is going on with you today?”

“I just don’t want you touching my hair.” _Mostly out of fear that it will fall out in your hand._

“Fine fine I won’t touch it. Are you losing weight?”

I rolled my eyes. “I’ve always been lanky. I just haven’t been running as much as I used to.”

“Why not?”

All his questions were only making things worse. “You know what you make the bloody tea this was your idea.” I snapped stepping away from the sink and heading to the kitchen table to sit down.

“Fine I will.” He replied grabbing the teakettle and putting it on the stove. “You’re acting so pissy today. Did something happen?”

“I swear if you ask me one more god damn question I will rip your testicles off.”

“Hey.”

I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’m just tired is all. How have you been?”

“Good.  I heard through the grapevine that you got offered a new movie role.”

“I turned it down.”

Benedict furrowed his brow turning his head to look at me. “What?”

“I turned it down. I just have too much on my plate right now.”

“I guess that’s understandable. You have been working a lot.” The teakettle let out a loud whistle the noise alone aggravated me. “I’m sorry to hear that you would have been great for the part.”

Except Benedict didn’t know I was dealing with terminal cancer. I could have told him and I probably should have. He was one of my closest friends he had every right to know about my illness and yet I couldn’t bring myself to inflict that sort of pain on him. His work schedule was tough enough no need to add the emotional baggage of my cancer on top of it. Eventually I would let him in on it, but for now I was content with letting him be his happy old self. He poured two cups placing a tea bag in each one and bringing them to the table. The smell of the tea steeping in the cup made me sick to my stomach and I became rather sad. Tea was something I always loved and now I no longer cared for it.

Benedict did most of the talking waffling on about what had been going on with him in recent weeks. I tried my best to keep up giving eye contact and weak smiles to let him know I was listening when I really wasn’t. Just trying to process the words coming out of his mouth was tiring. I tried to reply a few times most of them were successful though I was at a loss for words a couple times. I blamed it on not getting enough rest and he was more than satisfied with that answer. I didn’t even touch my drink the tea bag sitting in the hot water for the entirety of our conversation.

“You must want your tea really strong today.” Benedict remarked as he finished his off.

“I’m not really thirsty.” I pushed the cup away the smell of tea still lingering in the air. “How’s your love life?”

He rolled his lips together. “Non-existent.”

“Oh shut up.”

He let out a deep chuckle. “There was a girl, but it was kind of a friends with benefits thing you know the type.”

“Far too well.”

“What about you than? Any one special you’re interested in?”

Part of me wanted to tell him about Nora though that would lead to me having to give him a full explanation of the situation. I simply shook my head not wanting to dive into that area of my life.

“It’s probably for the best with the way you and I have been working. I hardly even have time to take a crap let alone tend to a needy woman.”

I laughed for the first time that day. Benedict always had a way of getting his point across no matter how ridiculous he made it sound.

“Well I feel I have overstayed my welcome here. I really should be going.”

My mind started to race as he got up from the table. _Tell him you stupid git. Just come out and tell him you have cancer. It won’t be that bad he deserves to know. Just get it over with._

I opened my mouth to speak a million thoughts running through my head. “It was nice seeing you.” That was it, those were my parting words.

I walked him to the door stumbling over my own two feet which gave us both a laugh. Same old Tom clumsy as ever. I waved goodbye and watched as he exited the gate and began his walk back home. Now came the feelings of anger. I was angry at myself for not being open with him. When I needed someone the most I was instead retreating inside myself. I hadn’t even told my parents yet for the same reasons. I watched how hard it was on them both when they were going through their divorce and the pain of losing a child would be unfathomable. I was keeping silent to protect the ones I loved.

I closed the door and headed back upstairs drained from Benedict’s unexpected visit. I flopped down on my bed feeling my body sink into the mattress. All this talk of love lives got me thinking about Nora. I hadn’t heard from her even though she promised she’d call. I know I probably shouldn’t have, but my OCD just wouldn’t let it rest. I had already called her about 20 times with no regrets at all. I wanted to hear her voice, wanted to just talk to her and knowing she still hadn’t given me her final decision kept me on edge. I rolled over onto my back and sat up grabbing my phone off the night stand and unlocking it with one swift flick of my finger. I immediately went through my recent contacts list and dialed her up. To my dismay it went straight to voicemail and I groaned loudly listening to her ask me to leave her a message.

“I don’t want to leave you a message you stupid…” _Beep._ “Hi Nora it’s me Tom. I haven’t heard from you and I was just wondering how you were.  Please give me a ring when you get this.”

Why was she ignoring my calls? Maybe she remembered my tendency to break into Shakespeare in the middle of crowded places just to embarrass her. Maybe she was recollecting the time I made a rather lewd comment about her breasts in front of her parents. It was an accident really. It just slipped off my tongue.  Perhaps though she was reminiscing about all the arguing we used to do. We could get into it pretty hard and though I was never physical with her I can recall a few times where she delivered a swift punch to my chest in the heat of the moment. I merited it most of the time I was a complete sod back then. I didn’t treat her half as well as she deserved and I don’t know why she put up with me. I called her some vile names said some extremely cruel things to her and yet she stuck around. It was as if we just accepted that this was how our relationship was. We were comfortable in it. Granted we had our good moments and without her, I don’t think I would have made it through University in one piece. Now all I could do was hope she’d call me just to put me out of my misery. 


	3. Love Was Never Part of Our Arrangement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom tries to keep living a normal life only to realize it has come to the point where that is no longer possible. He anxiously awaits Nora's reply to his wish which comes after an agonizing wait.

The sun had only just begun creeping over the horizon that morning and somehow I was awake to see it. I was having one of my better days a day where I actually felt like living. I tied my running shoes eager to get back into a hobby I loved. I felt steadier on my feet today and a run would do me some good. I still hadn’t heard from Nora I probably wasn’t going to. It was foolish of me to think that she would be so accepting of such a drastic request. This was a child we were talking about it’s not as if I was proposing I sell her my car. I wasn’t that boring. No, I had to go to the extreme and ask her if it was all right for me to get her pregnant. What girl wouldn’t love to hear that? I chuckled to myself thinking back to that day and how ridiculous it all must have sounded. However, it didn’t make me want it any less. My paternal instincts had kicked in big time and seeing my friends with their children only made it worse. Benedict was one of the only single men in their late 30’s that I knew who wasn’t married and was childless despite so desperately wanting a family. I sighed thinking at if he could handle the torment of wanting something so badly, but it always being out of reach then I could do the same.

I pushed up off the ground brushing the grass that had accumulated on my arse. I stepped onto the pavement and felt a rush of adrenaline go through me. I began to warm myself up jumping up and down to loosen my muscles. I grabbed my iPod and scrolled through my music selection that was about as lengthy as my personal book collection. I found "Imagine Dragons" a group I had heard was one of Nora’s favorites though I had become rather sick of “It’s Time” and could go an entire lifetime never hearing it again. “Round and Round” was one I had never heard of and the moment I heard the beat I could tell it would be a good running song. It was on point and it was easy for me to find my rhythm as I took off down the road. My feet slammed against the road in perfect unison with the heavy pulsating sound of drums that rang through my ears. It was easy to become lost in the moment as I stared at the road ahead that seemed to never end. My legs felt strong, my body was thriving, and everything had fallen perfectly into place. I never wanted it to stop, but as soon as the song came to a close, I felt a shift in my equilibrium and then it was over. I came crashing down hard breaking my fall with my hands so as not to ruin my beautiful face. Have you seen my face? The God’s created my face. I have razor sharp cheekbones, a prominent brow, and oh who am I kidding. I have big ears, dopey eyes, a nose that is too big for my face, and lips so thin they looked like two drawn lines. Yes, I was a thing of beauty. My palms and knees were searing with pain as I pushed up on all fours trying my best to get up.

“Are you alright?”

I turned my head glancing at the woman who had approached me. “I’m fine.”

“You fell pretty hard. It’s like you just lost your balance and splat! Right onto the pavement. Are you just naturally clumsy?”

By now I was trying to concentrate on getting up rather than how much I wanted to haul off and swing at this woman.

“Well excuse me Ms. Nosey Parker.”

That was enough to get her to leave me alone and as I got up my entire body began to ache. I gagged knowing I would need to take a trip to the hospital due to my treatment affecting my blood cells. Who knows what kind of damage I just did to myself. Lucky for me the doctor sent me home with a stern warning to try as best I could to avoid situations that could harm me. Easier said than done. It had been a long and exhausting day and as I arrived home, I immediately headed upstairs and took a nice hot shower. I dressed myself and went to the kitchen to make myself some tea. My appetite came and went most days I didn’t feel like eating at all and others I couldn’t shovel the food in fast enough. I made myself a nice cuppa and just as I sat down to enjoy it Nora came to mind. I had already called her numerous times, but what could one more hurt? I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed her number expecting it to go straight to voicemail as it always did.

“Do you realize you have called me 88 times?”

I sat up straight startled by the sound of her voice. “I got worried when I didn’t hear from you.”

“I told you I needed to think about things.”

“You also promised you’d call and you didn’t.”

“I didn’t know you were expecting me to call right away!” I heard her exhale. “Listen is it ok if I drop by?”

I wasn’t going to tell her no especially since I had been eagerly awaiting her phone call. I gave her my address and as I hung up my excitement began to wane as I reminded myself that she hadn’t exactly given me an answer. She could be on her way to tell me no that she simply hated me too much and the idea of carrying my child was sickening.  There were a thousand and one excuses for why she could refuse me. All I could do now was wait. I felt a chill run up my spine and despite it being the middle of August a fire was in order. I dimmed the lights in my home and crept over to the fire place watching as the flames began to engulf the wood. This was pleasant. It made my empty home feel more…homey. I smiled quite pleased by the atmosphere I had set and then heard the muffled sounds of obscenities being shouted from outside. I walked to the door and opened it watching as Nora opened my front gate. She tossed me a bewildered gaze a little surprised to see me standing there waiting for her.

“Is this what you do then? Lurk by the front door.”

I chuckled as she drew closer welcoming her into my home. The moment she entered, she took note of the fire curious as to why it was there. “Are you that cold?”

I shook my head and stumbled back to the couch exhausted from simply opening the door. “I’m sorry I called you so much.”

“88 times.”

“Yes well one can never be too worried.”

“There’s a difference between being worried and being a downright lunatic.” I watched as she pinched the bridge of her nose clearly agitated by my behavior.  “I have come to my decision.”

“I figured that much.” I grabbed my tea taking a sip before returning the cup to its saucer. I waited on bated breath for her to give me her final response. Instead I was met by a small form of hostility.

“That’s it? You’re not going to ask me what it is?”

I rolled my eyes. “Do you want me to?”

 “Yes I do.”

“You haven’t changed a bit. You always need attention.” Nora was always rather needy and most of the time I was more than willing to give in.

“I do not! I just want to feel like you actually care I mean this is a big deal!”

“I know it is Nora. Did you forget that I’m dying here?  Do you really think I don’t care?”

“This is getting us nowhere so I’ll just give you my answer and then you can do with it as you like” This was it there was no turning back. “Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes I will have your child. There I said it”

I felt my heart skip in my chest for it was the most beautiful yes I had ever heard. I was going to hopefully be a father get the chance to love another with all my heart. I was going to be part of something bigger than myself.

 “I have conditions though.”

I frowned. “We didn’t agree to any conditions.”

“I know. It’s just one and I promise it’s not too much to ask of you. I was just thinking that I don’t like the idea of you living all by yourself so either you come live with me at my flat or I come and stay here.”

 “I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Who said anything about babysitting? I just want our child’s parents to at least be living in the same house.”

“No you’re doing it because you’re worried. I can’t take care of myself. I’m perfectly capable of…” _Damn it all to hell._ I hated when I suddenly couldn’t seem to get out what I wanted to say.

“Tom you need me. Everyone needs someone. Those are my conditions you either take them or leave them. Decide how much you want to have this baby because I took one of those ovulation tests and now would be a smart time to get that part out of the way.”

I grabbed my teacup and finished my last sip. “You can stay here. I’m quite comfortable where I’m at.” I stood up and stretched out my legs eager to dish out my own set of rules for two could play at this game. “Now I have my own conditions.”

“You can’t ever just let me have all the glory can you?”

“No. Now there is a matter of your job. There will come a time when I will need round the clock care and I would much rather have you around than some nurse I don’t even know.”

“I can’t just quit my job it’s my only source…”

“Don’t worry about money.”

“I can’t let you do that.”

“You can and you will. If this is to come to fruition you will accompany me everywhere.”

“Even to the loo?”

“You know what I mean. I’m starting filming on Thor soon and I want you there with me. They don’t know of my circumstances and it will be easier to deal with if you’re there. I will be there for all your doctor’s appointments and I expect the same. Now my bedroom is upstairs you may sleep there if you wish if not I can provide you with other sleeping arrangements.”

 “Care to show me?”

What was it with this bird that she suddenly was too incompetent to find the bedroom on her own?  I hated these changes in my mood that came swiftly and without warning. All the excitement I had been feeling was now replaced by sheer annoyance. I lead her to the stairs throwing my arm around her and resting a good portion of my body weight on her shoulders.

 “Gentle Tom. I break easily.”

“Sorry…” I replied sternly. “…I just need you to help with my balance.”

I hope she feels horrible now and she should. It angered me that she seemed to be mocking my illness almost as if she wasn’t taking it seriously at all. Maybe this was her way of coping, but I couldn’t be arsed with it. I had other things going on matters that are more important than her childish attitude. I was out of breath by the time we reached the bedroom at the top of the stairs too tired to feel anything.

“This is where the magic happens.” I joked thinking back to the many episodes of Cribs I had seen. “You know they say that on MTV Cribs a lot. I always wanted to say that.” I dropped my arm from around her shoulders letting it fall to my side. I walked over to the bed and sat down eager to get things going.

Nora, however, was too busy taking in the sight of my rather plain bedroom. “I know it looks really bland. I wanted to fix it up, but between work and treatment it hasn’t been easy.”

That and the fact that I was just a really lazy arsehole. I watched as her eyes flitted about settling on my nightstand that was covered in pill bottles. Her eyes began to fill up with tears and I wanted so badly to release a groan of discontent, but I also didn’t want to hurt her feelings. I grabbed her hand and pulled her close to me hoping this would calm her down.

“Please don’t cry.” _No really please don’t cry I really don’t have time for your tears and right now I really just want to bone you._

“I can’t help it.”

She sat down on the bed and fixated her gaze on the picture I had framed behind my bottles of medication and I cursed under my breath. I should have hidden it for surely more tears were about the come the moment she realized what it was.

“Can I move some of these?” Before I could protest, she grabbed the picture shuffling my medication about my OCD beginning to kick in at the sight of the misplaced pill containers. “I can’t believe you kept this.”

“I would never throw it away.” I replied a bit upset that she would think that I was that cold hearted.

“We were pretty decent looking people weren’t we?” We both laughed. “Where was this? It looks like its right inside the Bridge of Sighs.”

Here it came another shift in my mental state. I remembered that day and my chest began to feel warm. I had good memories of our time inside the Bridge of Sighs and I don’t think she realized just how much that picture meant to me at least not yet.

“It is indeed. That was the day when it was so cold outside. Do you remember? I gave you my jacket which you never gave back.”

“It was a nice jacket.” She nudged me playfully. “Why did you keep this?”

 “This is the day I fell in love with you.” I said with a crooked half smile. It was the truth and she seemed extremely shocked to hear it.

We never really said I love you it just didn’t seem right given the nature of our relationship, but it didn’t mean the feelings weren’t there. I could see the overwhelming surprise in her face clearly she hadn’t anticipated my response. She put the picture back as I took in her appearance. She was absolutely stunning and I could no longer hold back.

“I uh…I think we should…”

I lunged forward our lips finally meeting after so long. I felt my nerves go off one by one my entire body felt like it was going to explode. I was a hungry man who needed to be fed. I needed to be inside of her. She bit down on my lower lip tugging at it as she pulled away.

“…you read my mind.”

 _God woman would you just shut up._ I forced my hand between her legs wanting to feel her warmth against my palm. I kissed her passionately this time allowing my tongue to have free reign over her mouth. Her tongue tasted sweeter than I remembered it and she was quick to return my advances. I reached up and tugged at the hem of the god-awful sweatpants she had chosen to wear only to have her disengage. What the fuck was going on? She stood in front of me my mind focused on one thing and one thing only. SEX. I just wanted to have sex.

“Just fair warning some things have change.” I nodded. “So don’t be too disappointed.” I nodded again and her eyes shifted downwards towards the bulge that had formed in my trousers.  “Am I talking to much?”

 _Of fucking course._ “Like always.”

“Sorry o.k…”

She pulled off her jumper and I sat there wide-eyed for she had nothing else on underneath it. I stared at her breasts which fell on her chest like two tear drops. They were beautiful. Never have I seen a more perfect pair. I felt myself begin to salivate my erection growing harder. I had to say something I had to compliment her in some way.

“They’re bigger than I remember.” _Way to go Tom. You get a gold fucking medal for that one you tit._

“Ugh are they? God now I just feel really self-conscious.” She threw her arms across her chest and I felt a sense of panic come over me.

 I had to find a way to recover from this we were so close to getting into bed together. It was time to turn on the charm.

“You’re going about this the wrong way. Do you mind if I?” I pointed towards her hands and I reached out running my fingers across them hoping to relieve some of her uneasiness. “Alright?”

“Fine. I forgot how soft your hands were.”

I smiled. It felt good to know I still had it the ability to make people feel comfortable around me. I pulled her hands away. God they really were superb no need to keep those puppies hidden.

“You have no reason to hide from me. If anyone appreciates a beautiful woman it’s me.”

“Oh God you are so full of sh…” Fuck hurry up Tom before she starts talking again.

I leaned forward taking her hard nipple into my mouth a loud gasp erupting from her. Her flesh was divine warm and soft against my lips. I latched down onto it not realizing that her hand had combed through my hair. I felt her shudder and I stopped giving her tit one final lick before realizing what had caused her to tremble so. There in her hand was a large clump of my hair. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand down for a closer look. I don’t think I had ever seen so much of it fall out in one sitting. I glanced up and saw sadness in her eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. The doctor’s told me this would happen it’s alright really.  I’ll be glad once it’s all gone it will be less for me to take care of.” I had to be optimistic something she didn’t quite grasp. “I don’t have any other choice Nora. There’s no point in wallowing in something I can’t fix. I’m still living, right here, in this moment and I’m going to enjoy it while I can before I get to a point where I can’t even remember your face anymore.”

I was on point. I knew how to please a woman for I was quite experienced in that arena given my sudden star power. It was easy to get women into bed the idea of sleeping with an actor was all that was really needed. It was different with her however. I didn’t want to just fuck her for her to be some meaningless piece of arse that I just tossed out in the morning. This woman was giving me a gift was giving up her life so that I could have my dying wish. She deserved to be made love to something that in my mind was completely separate from sex. It wasn’t just about the physical, but the emotional. I made love to her making sure to linger on each part of her body.  From the crook of her neck, to the small of her back, every rib of her ribcage, even the dip of her navel. Every inch of skin needed to be tasted. I took my time making sure that she was satisfied to the fullest for she surely warranted such treatment. She was indeed satisfied not once but three times. Yes I still had it. The moment I climaxed I felt a sense of gratification and then a feeling of remorse. I wasn’t apologetic to the fact that we made love, but to the idea that now she would want more from me. I never intended for her to get that impression and as much as I wanted to be that for her I couldn’t. I would be gone soon and she needed something more stable someone who could take the time to give her the love she so deserved. Love was never part of our arrangement.

I rolled off laying down beside her trying to catch my breath. I could feel the beads of sweat running down my face and I was quick to wipe them away. I could feel her eyes staring at me, but I didn’t dare return her glance.  An awkward silence filled the room and it was only a matter of seconds before she spoke out.

“Did I do something wrong?”

How was I supposed to answer her? Of course she didn’t, but I didn’t have the energy to explain my feelings in full. I sat up and leaned over the side of the bed grabbing my boxers off the floor. I quickly pulled them on and got out of the bed.

“I’ll show you to your room.”

I couldn’t have her sleep in the same bed as me not when I was in this condition.

“I thought you said I could…”

“Just do this for me.” She didn’t understand what was going through my head.

She got out of bed and wrapped the sheets around her confused as to what she had done to merit such a cold reception following such a passionate session of lovemaking.  I slowly walked out into the hallway and she followed close behind me.

“Why won’t you just talk to me?”

I finally stopped and turned around a somber look present on my face. “I don’t want you to get too attached.” And that was the honest truth.

“Oh. Right yeah of course not. I mean you’ll be gone and I’ll be all alone. Though you seem to forget I’m female so it may be a little hard not to have some feelings for you surface.”

“Don’t let them.  It’s like you said you’ll be alone and I’d rather you not have to cope with extra feelings.”

“Because having a child isn’t enough to deal with.”

“You didn’t have to do this.”

“But I wanted to.”

“Why? Why did you decide to give me a child? Is it because you pity me because if it is then we should stop this right now.”

“I did it because you’re my friend and I lo…”

“Don’t say it.”

“I want to do this for you.  Not because I pity you, but because you are a good man and I want you to be happy even if it’s just for a little while. When you go no matter what I will still have that little part of you with me always. I’ll still be able to somehow hold on to the friend I lo…”

“Stop.”

“Sorry. Why is it ok for you to say it?”

“I made a mistake alright?” Damn I shouldn’t have said that. Her eyes fell to the floor and immediately I sensed her disappointment in me.

 “Just show me to my room. I’m quite tired.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Well Tom…sometimes sorry just isn’t enough.”


	4. How Do I Love Thee?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom goes in for his next cycle of chemotherapy and leaves feeling angrier than he ever has in his life. He wonders why he of all people has to go through such an ordeal and is reminded that he is just like everyone else and that we all at some point have to die.

If Nora thought for one second that I didn’t feel bad about how I had been treating her she was dead wrong. Just because my mind was going didn’t mean my feelings went right along with it. In fact, I found myself feeling emotions I hadn’t felt in years. This included intense bouts of depression something I hadn’t experienced since my parents’ divorce when I was 13. It was a hard time for me being away at school while my parents were at home dealing with their own problems. I remember feeling overwhelmed with sadness, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t drag myself out of. This was different. Now I was feeling a constant hopelessness that simply wouldn’t go away. It was always there despite my best efforts to relieve myself from this feeling. I tried to go on with my life as normal, put on a happy face, didn’t let the world see how I was truly feeling inside. I masked both my physical and emotional pain as best I could and today wouldn’t be any different. As much as I wanted to give up and just lay in bed all day for it was a far better off choice than getting up and dealing with the world I refused to let myself do that. There were things that needed to be done things I never thought I’d be doing at 31 years of age.

I sat down at the table staring at the packet my lawyer had sent over. I opened it and dumped its contents out staring at the documents that lay before me. I read them in an attempt to understand the legal jargon that was being thrown at me. To think for a split second when I was 11 I actually thought of becoming a lawyer and now I was glad I never followed through with it. That was one dream I was more than happy to let go of. I grabbed a pen from the cup that sat in the middle of the table and began writing a draft on one of the blank sheets of paper he provided wanting to make sure I did it correctly for this was extremely important.

_I, Thomas William Hiddleston, aged 31 years, resident of London, hereby revoke my former Wills and declare this to be my Last Will and Testament._

“What are you doing?”

The sudden sound of her voice startled me and I felt my entire body jolt in fright. “Bleeding…fucking…Christ don’t do that to me!”

“Sorry I thought you heard me come in.” She pulled the chair out across from me and sat down leaning her elbows on the table. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“My will. You know the thing I have to write to say how I want my body disposed of and who gets what.” I could see she wanted to cry and that both hurt and annoyed me. “Don’t start crying please. It’s something that I have to do. People write their will’s up all the time.”

She nodded her head in agreement and while I was hoping she would let the matter go I knew better. “You’re not going to get cremated are you?”

I shifted my eyebrows in confusion at her question. “What?”

“You’re not going to get cremated right? Just the idea of it…”

“Being a pile of ashes isn’t so bad. You can take me and scatter my remains across Primrose Park.”

“Oh how lovely.  You know there was an episode of My Strange Addiction where the woman actually began to consume her husband’s ashes.”

I gagged at the very idea. “Maybe a proper burial would be best.” We smiled at each other and then I suddenly went silent.

We made love every day that week and yet there was something I hadn’t told her and I didn’t know if I even should. When my treatment started I asked my doctor about the possibility of having children. I hoped to receive positive news, but instead I was met with a stern warning. He advised me that trying to have a child was not in my best interest for the chemo could cause any child of mine to possibly be born with birth defects. I also was informed that infertility was likely given the medications I had been prescribed.  I realized now sitting here watching her as she tucked her hair behind her ear that I had been extremely selfish. I had pulled her into a situation without disclosing every bit of information. As I thought things over I decided not to tell her. I just felt that glimmer of hope within me that things were going to be alright and there was no point in letting her in on the darker side of things.

“Well we should get ready I have to be at the hospital in half an hour.”

Today was my second cycle of treatment and while it was never pleasant, I wasn’t as scared as I had been before. I had someone on my side, someone who would sit with me while I had an IV shoved into my arm. I glanced up and watched her shift in her seat. Clearly the idea of watching me get chemo bothered her, but it was part of our agreement and I wasn’t about to let her back out. I reached over and grabbed her hand giving it a tight reaffirming squeeze.

“You’re going to be fine. We’re both going to be fine it’s all fine. I have now said fine 3 times and this time makes 4. Don’t make me say fine again. Really it’s fine.”

She smiled and got up heading to her room to get herself dressed. I attempted to do the same only to find that I didn’t quite feel comfortable making the journey up the stairs. I was walking like a man who had one too many pints and preferred to save myself the trouble.

“Nora?”

“Yes.”

“Can you bring me down some clothes. I’m scared I’ll fall if I try to make…”

“Yeah sure I’ll be down in a second!”

She didn’t even let me finish my request perhaps because she didn’t like hearing me talk about my symptoms. A few minutes later she returned carrying a few items for me to change into. I took them from her and allowed my eyes to wander about taking in her attire.

“You look amazing as always.” I said with a soft smile.

“And as usual you are full of hot air.”

The hospital was always eager to tend to my needs. They knew I wanted to keep things as low key as possible and allowed me to use a side entrance to avoid being seen. Everything was very discreet and they even went as far as to make sure there wouldn’t be many people there when I walked in to receive treatment out of fear someone would cause a commotion. I knew it wouldn’t last after all the moment I was spotted trotting around London without any hair someone would take notice. For now it was nice to be able to enjoy that last bit of privacy I had. I had my blood work drawn before treatment began and the nurse came back telling me I was all ready to go. I sat down and closed my eyes for I always had a slight fear of needles. I felt a prick in my arm and I clinched my teeth until it had been firmly inserted into my vein. I was given medication to help prevent any nausea I may feel afterwards something I learned about the hard way. As soon as that was finished, it was time for my chemo drip. It usually only took about 10 to 15 minutes so I was lucky in that regard for some people spent hours getting treatment.

“Are you alright dear?” The nurse asked Nora who was sitting there her legs shaking uncontrollably.

“I’m fine.” She lied watching as the liquid slithered down the thin clear tube and into my arm. “Does it hurt?”

“A bit, it’s more uncomfortable than anything.” I grinned at her hoping it would ease her worried mind. “I need you to just relax. You have to take me home, your driving is already horrific, and I fear it will be 10 times worse with you being so jumpy.”

“My driving is fine.”

“You should have been a Formula One driver.”

She pursed her lips and crossed her legs in an attempt to settle herself down. “If anyone is a horrible driver it’s you.”

We bickered back and forth about who had the superior driving skills. I asked her what was so bad about staying in one lane and she compared my driving to her grandmother's. It wasn’t my fault I thought it necessary to obey the speed limit unlike her. Before long my treatment was finished, but I was too busy arguing with Nora to notice.

The nurse placed her hand on my shoulder quieting me down. “How are you feeling so far Tom? We’re just about done.”

“Um a bit tired, but that seems to be quite normal for me these days.”

She removed the IV and got me ready to go home. “Now don’t forget your anti-nausea pills. We don’t want another event like we had last time.” She stood up and looked at Nora who was trying to ignore what she was saying. “Poor man was sick as a dog.”

“Is he ready to go?” Nora inquired not wanting to spend any more time there than she needed to.

The nurse gave me the ok to leave and Nora helped me out to the car remaining silent the whole time. I sat in the passenger seat and closed the door beginning to feel a wave of emotions coming over me. Tears formed in my eyes as I thought about what had just happened. I had medication injected into my system and for what? I was going to die anyways it wasn’t helping me. All of the nausea and fatigue was for nothing. This happened on a regular basis me sitting and wondering why I was even going through all of this when it wasn’t going to cure me. At the end of the day I still had cancer, I still had a tumor eating away at my brain, a tumor that was ripping my life away from me.

“Tom what’s…”

“Though yet of Hamlet our dear brother's death. The memory be green and that it us befitted to bear our hearts in grief and our whole kingdom. To be contracted…To be contracted…”

In that moment I felt a rage unlike anything I had ever felt before. I had forgotten Hamlet; something I at one time was able to speak word for word. No matter how hard I tried to remember the full line I couldn’t it had been erased from my mind. I no longer was in control of myself and it infuriated me. I promptly balled my hand into a fist punching the dashboard so hard I thought surely I had broken every bone.

“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT IT’S NOT FAIR!” I wailed my tears now flowing freely from my eyes.

I hunched over burying my face in my hands as I let out a loud agonizing scream. I felt Nora’s hand on my back as she tried to comfort me the best way she knew how.

“It’s alright.”

“NO IT’S NOT!” I shouted straightening myself up. “THINGS LIKE THIS DON’T HAPPEN TO PEOPLE LIKE ME!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“IT MEANS I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH CANCER!”

Little did I know I had struck a major nerve with her and she was going to let me know just how she felt.

“So when you say people like you, you mean people who are of a well to do status, people who have money, who live in nice homes, who have expensive things, you mean those people? Not people like my mother who went to sleep and never woke up. She deserved to die is that it?”

“You’re taking my words out of context…”

“No I’m not you’re just being a god damn bastard about it. News flash Tom everyone dies even snobby rich people who think they are above everyone else. You’re not any better than the rest of us. Who are you to determine who lives and who dies? You’re not God you don’t get a say in the matter.”

“Why me though?”

“Why not you? Why my mum? Why the man who works at the butcher shop? The postman, the bus driver, it’s not a question of why Tom.”

“It’s just not fair.”

“Life isn’t fair. If it was there would be no pain and suffering in the world. We would all be happy and just go about our lives, but that’s now how it works. Shakespeare Sonnet 43.”

“What?”

“Do it. Shakespeare Sonnet 43.”

I hesitated not knowing if I would be able to handle another incident like the previous one.

“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace.  I love thee to the level of every day’s most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for right.  I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use in my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.”

She smiled and patted me on the knee. “See there? It’s not all lost after all.”

“What am I going to do though when I find myself beginning to forget you?”

“Don’t even think about that.”

“I will be absolutely heartbroken.”

“Tom…” She reached over and cupped my face in her hands wiping away my stray tears with her thumbs. “…don’t wallow in it. I’m here now we’re here in this moment and dammit I’m starving so please cheer up because you are breaking my heart and I really hate crying on an empty stomach.”

As much as I wanted to continue with my antics, I couldn’t help, but laugh. My spirits had been lifted and I admit I was a bit hungry myself.

“Oh fine. You drive and I’ll pay for lunch. Deal?”

“Deal.”


	5. I will no longer be updating any of these stories.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I will no longer be updating here as thanks to Tom's ridiculously overbearing fans I have lost all appeal for him.

I am so over him and his fans who fangirl over every fart that comes out of his butt. Done. On to Michael Fassbender.


End file.
